Sometimes You Have to Ask Yourself: Who's Loving You?

Sometimes a good conversation, or even a bad conversation, can bring out the most astonishing of revelations. I never realized how headstrong I am. But talking to some of my friends has convinced me that my self-esteem is at an all-time high. I just spoke with a good friend of mine who recently broke up with her boyfriend of four years. She wrote a note on fb simply expressing how she was feeling about her entire situation (i.e. moving out of town, her job, friends, etc) not just the boy. One of her friends commented on the note and basically shit on her entire existence as a person. But what blew me away the most was my friend's reaction to the comment. She was so hurt and confused, and she made the note private. Already being confused by what's going on in her relationship or lack thereof, her mind is even more on the fence now because her friend gave her all this shit about the situation. I promptly explained to her that she couldn't allow what anybody felt, thought, or said about her to tear her down so easily. Life is hard enough without all the extra, so why would you allow someone to come in, take charge of your shit, and make things worse? Me, I'm not having it. After my freshman year of high school, I constructed a steel wall around my brain, so there's no way anybody could ever knock it down and force me to think or feel anything that isn't naturally Tia. You might call it stubborn, but I call it confident. I trust myself to know what's good for me at least. I spend 24 hours a day with myself, so I believe I know what to tweak and when to tweak it to make whatever I need to happen a reality. So I stand firm in whatever I believe, and unless I go looking for advice on any given situation, that firm foundation does not crack. Self-esteem is kind of like trust, in the sense that it is a foundation that needs to be continuously built upon until it can fully support one's sanity, which by the laws of nature, is already a fragile thing. I never go looking for acceptance; its not mandatory for my day-to-day survival. I'm going to grind and get mine whether you bitches like it or not, because at the end of the day, I have to be able to live with myself. When everything's all said and done, I'm the one who has to live with whatever decision was made, so Tia Love will be the only one making executive decisions where Tia Love is considered. Feel me?? No one can shatter my confidence, because it's damn near unbreakable. It took me years to build, and no sticks, stones, words or phrases are going to tear down the Great Wall of Tia. Thanks n God Bless :)

XoXo

Dear Bitch

I dedicate this letter to every woman in my life who's ever tried to have some semblance of control over my life; every woman who thought she was making moves where I'm concerned; every woman who tried her hardest to derail my train of success and leaving me hanging in the cusp of failure. This is for you. Ooh, don't you feel special? Something just for your eyes. I'm here to help you realize and get through that thick ass head of yours that you are not important beyond your purpose for breathing. Your sole reason for existence is to make me appreciate the ones I love. Conniving, thriving, sneaky, under-handed broads like you hate to see anybody smile and be happy. Hate to see success be a reached. Hate to see love. Will do anything to ensure that we all take that long, winding road to the fiery pits of Dante's inferno. NEWSFLASH BITCH: I don't live my life to please you, nor am I concerned with however you feel about me. Love me or hate me,  I promise its never going to make or break me. You trying to take me down just shows that I'm doing something right. Because of course, you're not doing anything until you're being hated for it. So continue your timeless tirade of attempting to shoot my dreams down, and watch me go against the odds, beat them, and do it all with my shades on, stylish shoes on my feet, and a gorgeous smile on my face. Tata bitch.

XoXo,

the one u love 2 hate

Letter to that Little Girl #1

I wish someone had been there to cradle you from the cruel, harsh realities of this world. I wish the look of innocence that comes with blissful ignorance would've never left your eyes. I wish you would never have to go through a terrible, back-breaking, soul-shattering experience. My only hope for you is that you would've been sheltered from the storm. But it takes for the rain to pour, the lightening to light up the skies, and the thunder to roar in protest, for you to become a woman. Adversity is the best kind of professor, and without it, you wouldn't grow to be the amazing woman I am today. See, you've got the makings of an extraordinary kind of woman. If only you could learn to love yourself. Mom's not around, and its painful, I know. But eventually you've got to drop that dead weight from your mind. It's holding you back from so many different opportunities to love and be loved and return. You are worth it. You're worth love and companionship, and you are a wonderful daughter. Despite the loss of what you desired most in life, you will go on. Because life goes on. You live, you learn, and then you move on Baby girl. Because life is way too short to spend your time worried with the inconsequential. Love yourself. Be you. And never ever give up your passion for writing. It just may become your crutch in life :) Tata til later, i love you. 

From the Girl Who Loves you Most