Sometimes You Have to Ask Yourself: Who's Loving You?

Sometimes a good conversation, or even a bad conversation, can bring out the most astonishing of revelations. I never realized how headstrong I am. But talking to some of my friends has convinced me that my self-esteem is at an all-time high. I just spoke with a good friend of mine who recently broke up with her boyfriend of four years. She wrote a note on fb simply expressing how she was feeling about her entire situation (i.e. moving out of town, her job, friends, etc) not just the boy. One of her friends commented on the note and basically shit on her entire existence as a person. But what blew me away the most was my friend's reaction to the comment. She was so hurt and confused, and she made the note private. Already being confused by what's going on in her relationship or lack thereof, her mind is even more on the fence now because her friend gave her all this shit about the situation. I promptly explained to her that she couldn't allow what anybody felt, thought, or said about her to tear her down so easily. Life is hard enough without all the extra, so why would you allow someone to come in, take charge of your shit, and make things worse? Me, I'm not having it. After my freshman year of high school, I constructed a steel wall around my brain, so there's no way anybody could ever knock it down and force me to think or feel anything that isn't naturally Tia. You might call it stubborn, but I call it confident. I trust myself to know what's good for me at least. I spend 24 hours a day with myself, so I believe I know what to tweak and when to tweak it to make whatever I need to happen a reality. So I stand firm in whatever I believe, and unless I go looking for advice on any given situation, that firm foundation does not crack. Self-esteem is kind of like trust, in the sense that it is a foundation that needs to be continuously built upon until it can fully support one's sanity, which by the laws of nature, is already a fragile thing. I never go looking for acceptance; its not mandatory for my day-to-day survival. I'm going to grind and get mine whether you bitches like it or not, because at the end of the day, I have to be able to live with myself. When everything's all said and done, I'm the one who has to live with whatever decision was made, so Tia Love will be the only one making executive decisions where Tia Love is considered. Feel me?? No one can shatter my confidence, because it's damn near unbreakable. It took me years to build, and no sticks, stones, words or phrases are going to tear down the Great Wall of Tia. Thanks n God Bless :)

XoXo