I Love My Big Sister

Ahhhhhhhh extreme irritation setting in. Just going through the daily motions of my life, can sometimes be exhausting and a little over-exhilarating. I've been working non-stop, 9-9 everyday for the last three weeks. Making money is something I enjoy doing, but its not my main goal in life. I see happiness in love. The love between husband and wife, mother and children, father and daughter, siblings, and friends. These are the things that intrigue me. This is what I look forward to in the future and what I ultimately want in this life.

Yesterday, I went to the Bar with my 25-year-old sister for the first time since I've turned 21. We were in the bar for about thirty minutes and fifteen of those minutes were spent standing at the bar getting something to drink. So when we finally sat down, my sister was complaining that it was hot and she was feeling suffocated. So, she takes off her jacket and tells me we're going to go outside for some fresh air. I set my drink down, tell the man sitting next to me to watch it, and as soon as I turn around, I see my sister stumbling in her heels and she just faints to the floor. Falls right on her face. Just out cold. And I am mortified.

Shit! I can't believe this just happened. What am I supposed to do? I think I just might faint right along with her. 

These are all of the things that ran through my head in the few seconds it took for me to rush over to her. She had told me about a few times that she had fainted before after feeling hot, so I didn't yell for anybody to call the ambulance. No, I smacked and pushed her for a few seconds until she came to. She was very disoriented and it was completely terrifying to watch my BIG sister, depend so heavily on someone else for support.

And it opened my eyes. I've always considered me and my older sister to be close. I tell her everything, even the things that I promise myself I'm not going to tell her. And she chastises me as if I were her child. But I know its all out of love. Growing up with no mother, taught us to depend on each other for that woman-to-woman companionship. So even when we go weeks without speaking to each other and seeing each other, when we do finally find ourselves together, its like no time was spent apart. But I took this all for granted.

My sister has always been a loner. But I don't think she should live a life of solitude if she's going to be randomly fainting every time her body gets too hot. I love her, and although I was always aware of this fact, I didn't know how much she meant to me until I thought she was a goner. I don't want to get all cheesy and emotional on this post. I've been doing ENOUGH of that for the last three months. I guess what I'm trying to say is: don't take anything for granted. life is way too short, this shit could literally end at any given moment. so live like you'll die tomorrow, love like you've never been hurt, and never EVER take your big sister for granted.

That is all.

XoXo,
Tia