I've always assumed that I was born and raised in poverty. I never went without necessities like food, shelter, and a at least one loving parent, but as I grew older, I started playing the comparison game. What most of my friends had, I lacked. I didn't have a walk in closet filled to the brim with clothes and shoes, I didnt have a mother to take me to the hair shop every few weeks for a pretty new hair do. Although my father did the best he could with what he had, tuition for college was paid out of my pocket alone. These are some of the things I thought came from living in poverty. But working in a Milwaukee public school, has taught me to be whole-heartedly grateful, because there are many people who weren't as blessed as me. Everyday, I walk through the halls of the school, or the streets of Tue neighborhood where the school is located, and I am saddened. Whole families who are starving. Not only for food, but clothing, shelter, and human affection. Mother's who can't afford to feed all of their children, let alone one. Their stories belong in the book of poverty. I am a witness to this outcome of a capitalist society, but I am not a victim

Ahhh. . .Yet Another Hump Day

People come and go. . . friends come and go. . . some family members come and go. . . but is love really forever? What forces people to put themselves through the most painful situations over and over again, all in the name of love? I know I do it. I've been dealing with the same man for the last 5 years, and the last two, have been the roughest. Communication, which used to be the easiest facet of the relationship for us, is now a foreign language. We're two separate continents, planets even. And I'm not sure either of us has the patience to take language classes to even try and understand. My heart. . . is a big empty void. Where warm love once was, there's only ice. I've shut off my most natural feelings, responding only as a human being who is merely existing. And I don't entirely blame him. It takes two to fuck up a relationship. But how many does it take to set broken hearts, put sutures in deep wounds, and mend what was torn? Who knows? We have a baby on the way. . . so where do we go from here? Friends. How many of us have them? Raise your hand if you can count on two hands the number of people you call at 2 in the am if you have to bury the body of your recently murdered boyfriend. Exactly. In this last year or so, I've learned to let go of the hurt, trust and love those closest to me, and letting go of those who only wanted to bring me harm or drama. No time for the past bullshit in my present or future. Like Jay-Z said, "on to the next one." Friends. Sometimes, I feel like its purely a facade. But then I look in the smiling eyes of my bestest of eight years or my co worker who has helped through so much in the 7 months that I've known her, and I ask myself. How can it be a facade? I don't know. My heart's all confused right now . Sorry to get all emotional with you guys on hump day, but I had to let it out. I leave you with some kind words to get you through the rest of the week:

"the game of life is not so much in holding a good hand as playing a poor hand well." --H.T. Leslie

We can all change a negative into a positive.

XoXo,

T.

21 Year Old Fashion

This was me the birthday girl on my big day :) I was pretty damn fly if I do say so myself. . .

FELIZ CUMPLEANOS A MI!!!

21 IS FINALLY HERE GUYS!!!! And despite the turmoil I've gone through in the past few months, I'm so freaking happy!!! I enjoyed myself last night, and the party continues TONIGHT!!! Love u all and cheers to the next 21!!!

XoXo,

Tia

My Pride and Joy

I am currently serving as a Boys & Girls Club Spark Tutor. Everyday, I am giving the chance to make a difference in my community by giving hope to little boys and girls who come from places where hope if often not seen. My kids are my pride and joy, and although they’ve gained necessary skills to perform well in school, I’ve gained a pot of gold just from looking into their bright eyes. Here is what I wrote for them.


When I walked into this opportunity
I was unaware of the gold I would be mining
In charge of six or seven tiny minors
Who depended on me to throw paint on the canvasses of their minds
Fresh with the desire to be heard and be seen
I got down to the task of painting a masterpiece more famous than The Scream
From the pages of a book to the pencil’s in their hand
I’ve brought them to the realm of discovery
And they’ve brought me sheer joy
I delight in their smiles
Feel pain when they hurt
And I beam like a proud parent when their potential is realized
You see I. . .
Am a mere vessel
Brought here to bring them through struggle
And come out on the other side with the knowledge to move forward
Walk in the brilliance of intelligence
Shine under the illustrious stars of their individuality
And rejoice in mental maturity
Looking into their innocent eyes
I know that I’ve done my job
Delicately cultivated the garden of young minds
And grown flowers to rival the best roses
Jalen, Jalisa, Justus
Yamini and Kijuan
They are tiny extensions of me
And knowing that I’ve helped them learn to read
Ignites an infinite flame of pride in me

My Poo Poo

My favorite niece. ;)

I Didn't know Godzilla was a Poet

that's deep Godzilla. . .

Is This Forreal?

if i ever get married, this is the kind of relationship i want to have

Dreary Humpday

Happy Humpday to all! It is rainy and kinda cold here in Milwaukee, or maybe I'm just cold because I cut off all my hair last weekend. Who knows? Either way, the sun isn't out and it makes the prospect of working both my jobs very uninviting. I want to crawl up in my bed with my current read: Another Country by James Baldwin and a bowl of cookie dough. I have some things I need to cry about. Tell you all about them later. Tata til later!!

When the Going Gets Tough. . .

they say when the going gets tough, the tough get going. but what about those of us who sometimes just can't find it within ourselves to be strong when life has ground you down to your most basic elements? this is when i turn to words. certain quotes give me the strength that others naturally possess and for those of you reading this who might need that extra push at times, i hope it gives you strength too.

"war is deception" -- the art of war

"love the moment; flowers grow out of the dark moments" --unknown

"success is the ability to go from one failure to the next without loss of enthusiasm" -- winston churchill

"dream the impossible dream, fight the unbeatable foe, strive with your last ounce of courage to reach the unreachable star" --unknown

"there is nothing a caterpillar that tells you it's going to be a butterfly" --R. Buckminster Fuller

"kites rise against, not with, the wind" --john neal

"if life gives you lemons-make grapejuice. then sit back and let people wonder" --kigichi ishiritari

"have the courage to fail big; make them wonder why you're still smiling" ---unknown

"just when the caterpillar thought life was over, it became a butterfly" --unknown

"what lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us" ---henry david thoreau

"the soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears" ---john vance chaney

"live, laugh, love" -- unknown

"you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have" --unknown

My First Haiku

This is my first haiku! It took me forever to write, but I think it turned out pretty well, all things considered. What do you think?

sunset to sunrise

she gazed upon the field like

her dreams were her life


Xoxo,
Tia

Smile

This is a new poem I started a few months ago and just found the gall to finish today! Yay me, lol! Tell me what you think :)

I’ve forgotten how to smile
So much more accustomed to frowning now
A smile… would seem displaced
On this face
So allow me to magically erase
The fake one I’ve been walking around with
I used to smile all of the time
Until the complexity of life robbed me of my joy
Stole my sunshine
Hovered like a big cloud and let loose its massive raindrops
Washing away my entire will to live
The going got tough
And fear turned my heart weak
Sadness became my closest friend
Making it my most dangerous enemy
So the tears flowed freely
Down onto the frown that now creases my mouth
Because I’ve forgotten how to smile
But I never once forgot what it was like to shine