Moment of Honesty #1

I must admit that when it comes to my heart, I'm not always 100% sure what's going on. All I know is that I want to be loved. Genuinely. By a man who understands that real love is unconditional. Sex is not a way to my heart. And a smile and true words go farther than anything you could purchase in a store. I know I want these things, but because I have yet to find them, I can't help wondering if I'm just hopelessly wandering. Setting my standards too high so that I'll purposely remain single. That way, no one can hurt me.

Dear Byheem

These words are some of the hardest I've ever had to say, but it would be selfish of me to keep them to myself. In the past two and half years, getting to know you has been an intriguing process. Your inner design is so well put together and different from most of the guys I know. As you know, I am extremely attracted to you. Our sexual chemistry is so off the charts and we haven't even touched yet. We vibe so well sexually because our mental connection is unrivaled. Never have I met a man in all my years of dating that respected my mind so much. When I used to talk to my daddy about men and the kind of guys I should let in my life, I now understand that you were the kind of man he was speaking of. I feel like with you, I can be 100% Tia. Authentically ME. And you accept everything that comes with that.
Whether or not you know it, you've helped me through some pretty trying times. Fights with my daddy, friends, issues with my self-esteem, and the list goes on. On many different occasions, you've made me feel like a woman that's beautiful enough to be desired. Celibacy for me is hard because I'm such a sexual being, but talking to you all the time reminds me that there are real men out there who are worthy of the wait and what's between my legs. You are such a great black man. I know there's much more to your story, but the parts you have shown me are unique and awe-inspiring. From the ugliness of the situation with your son and his mother to the beauty that is your God given talent. I want all parts of that.
It wasn't hard for me to admit this to myself, but its hard for me to admit it to you. I love you. I care about you. And I want to see you happy.

Love,
Tia

Congratulations and Moving Forward

Today, one of my best friends graduated from college with her bachelors in the College of Letters and Sciences at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. At 21 years old, Rashidah Butler did something I can only dream about currently. She faced odds, beat them, and then walked all over them with bad ass brown pumps. Seeing her shout across the stage in what would be her final interaction as an undergrad brought a slew of tears to my eyes. I was so proud and I know that she will only continue to amaze in her achievements. Watching someone so close to me handle their business in such a swift and concise manner inspired me. Moved me to open my eyes to what has become my reality. I am a mother. I am raising the most feared being on this Earth: a black man. And I need to do this shit like there's nothing else that matters in life. Because really there isn't. So in the completion of her studies as an undergrad, I have awakened something inside of me to hop on my business and prepare to go back to school. Because really, what other option do i have?

friendship

so i thank God everyday for my sisters Micala, Rashidah, Alyssa, and Tashina. . . my pregnancy would not have gone as smooth as it did if it weren't for real ride or dies